Beats by Dre: “Pill-ic” Imagery

So I’m sitting here at the computer, writing the African plastic surgery installment  and listening to Rosi Golan. It’s a nice relaxing evening. Men in Black is on the in the background. Life is good.

I glance behind the computer at the television and see a very skinny and scantily clad young lady dancing on the screen and wonder what on earth is going on. Try to understand that I was just staring at Will Smith and Tommy Lee Jones. So this was a drastic change of scenery.

Turns out that I was watching the latest commercial for Beats by Dre. Apparently there’s this nifty little thing called The Pill, which is basically a compact wireless speaker in the shape of your everyday Tylenol. Another wonderful feat of technology.

And yet, I’m not watching a commercial about how The Pill has great sound and is easily portable. I’m watching a commercial about unrealistic models who are working out using The Pill as weights. They’re dancing like 12-year-olds at their first cotillion and putting The Pill in a hot dog bun.

But wait! There’s more.

A shot of the models’ bottom halves is shown with a large #UWANTIT plastered across the screen in red letters. One model walks by and casually sticks The Pill to her chest while shimmying her shoulders to the song Blurred Lines by Robin Thicke.

And yes! There is still more.

The models are sticking The Pill in their faces and using them as telescopes with confused looks on their faces. The commercial ends with a brunette Pill-er on her hands and knees with a surprised open mouth. A Pill is laying lengthwise across her back.

Did I mention that The Pills were red and the models wore white? And can we please talk about how the speakers are called The Pill in a video full of blatant phallic undertones?

Yes, all of this was staged to the lines, ‘I know you want it, you’re a good girl’.If you haven’t already, please take a look at the video. I’m sure you’ll be just as surprised.

Dr. Dre. I am very, very disappointed. The kind of disappointed that you would see Gary Oldman screaming about in that one scene from The Fifth Element when he realizes he did not get the stones.

I guess I’m a little confused. Why would you need so much phallic imagery to sell a product when your Neon Mixr commercial was ‘off-the-charts-this-makes-me-want-to-get-up-and-dance’ cool? Or even the Lebron James Powerbeats commercial that featured Radioactive by Imagine Dragons (that song is totally sick, by the way)?

I don’t even own Beats and never have. What I can tell you is that giving the penis vibe to wireless speakers is not going to make me more inclined to buy them. What made me more inclined to buy the Neon Mixr headphones was the epic dance moves in the commercial. That actually showcased the product.

My jaw sat on the floor for the longest time. While I’m sadly not surprised that they’d use sex to sell, I’m blow away that it’s so blatant on public television.

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